In 2002 I injured my back in an auto accident. At exactly the same time, my wife had to leave town to deal with a family matter. I was in severe pain and I needed help. Fortunately, a family friend needed a place to stay and she and her dog moved in. As I slowly recovered from my injury I developed a bond with this young dog named Zoe.
As it turns out, the friend was about to embark on a year of travel and needed to find a home for Zoe. Beth and I had been thinking about getting a dog, and the timing worked out perfectly. Zoe became a member of our family joining our 2 year old cat Baby.
Through the years since then, Zoe has been a constant companion - joining me on long hikes and camping trips, runs through the neighborhood and around Greenlake, and quiet times at home. She always greeted me at the front door when I got home from work with "the Happy Dance" and was eager to go for a walk or even a ride in the car. Either way, for her it was an adventure.
A few years ago, Zoe started slowing down. Jogging with her became difficult, and she would want to turn back or stop during hikes. I thought she was just getting older. Then we noticed that her eyes were twitchy in the morning. After seeing this a few times, we took her to the vet, who noted that her blood glucose level was dangerously low. He conducted more tests and ultimately gave us the bad news.
In April 2009, Zoe was diagnosed with cancer of the pancreas. The tumor was called an insulinoma, which means as it grows, it releases increasing amounts of insulin into her bloodstream. The vet suggested surgery, but this type of tumor is aggressive and it almost always recurs. The estimated life expectancy from diagnosis is about 45 days without surgery and about a year with surgery.
We opted to spare her the pain of surgery and recovery and to treat the condition with diet. We began to feed her a high protein, complex carbohydrate diet every 4 hours. The next weekend I took Zoe on an overnight backcountry camping trip. We stopped frequently for feedings, but we both had a great time. It was to be her last camping trip.
For several months Zoe's condition gradually declined, and it looked like we were going to have to say goodbye around July, 2009. Then Abraham was born. During that first month Zoe and Abraham were on the same feeding schedule, and we did the best we could to keep it together. Sometime during that month, Zoe decided it was her job to make sure the baby was ok. She began to eat on her own, and staked out a spot on the floor next to Abraham's bassinet.
For a while, it was like she wasn't sick at all. Sure, she was gaining weight - she went from 45 pounds to 80 pounds in the last year - but she seemed happy. Some days she was genuinely puppy-like. We took her for walks when she had the energy, and enjoyed time at home when she wasn't up for a walk. However, the reprieve could not last. Over the past several months Zoe's decline resumed. She refused to eat and had to be hand fed. She began having seizures even shortly after eating. The vet had predicted that as the tumor grew we would be unable to overcome the massive amounts of insulin with diet, and he was right. For the last few weeks, despite our constant attention, Zoe had seizures almost every day. She had no energy and did not want to eat even the tastiest treats. It was an agonizing decision, but we realized we had to let her go before it got any worse.
On Friday April 9, we loaded Zoe with cookies and took her for one last trip to the off-leash area at
The vet arrived at our house in the afternoon and we said our last goodbyes to Zoe. During the last year Zoe had stopped licking us, but as the sedative began to take effect she repeatedly licked me and Beth on our faces, which were up against hers. I think she finally felt some relief from the pain, and was thanking us for letting her go.
Right now the house seems a little empty without her. The cat is confused and the baby keeps looking for his floor companion. We've explained to him that Zoe is in a better place, but at 9 months old, he really can't understand.
We have experienced the grief of a lost pet before, and we will again. Although this is the hardest part of having a pet, the enrichment they provide our lives is worth going through the loss at the end. Zoe filled our home with life and love, and I will make sure that Abraham grows up knowing and appreciating that experience.
Zoe, you were a wonderful friend and a true member of our family. You were loyal and loving and you made our lives immeasurably richer. We will miss you more than words can say. I hope wherever you are there are lots of squirrels to chase. Be at peace. You deserve it.
